I think I just saw someone hide a body.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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