she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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