better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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