oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
