so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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