whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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