I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
