I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dick very happy bro
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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