Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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