I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I need to sanitize my soul.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize