Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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