She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
