You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
