i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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