dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
How does one acquire holy water?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
