In the future we'll all be gay
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When are your genitals available?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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