apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize