if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
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He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
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Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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