Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.