I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We need to rekindle our bromance
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
