I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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