I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.