i think my tv is drunk
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Never joke about your clitoris.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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