you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
