Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
