You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
