Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
