Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
did you just send me my own nude
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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