Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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