that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
