My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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