i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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