So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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