She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
