So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
