i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
as a side note pls kill me
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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