Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You pole danced in your parka.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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