Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
