I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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