At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
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