So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
