If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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