he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
