Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
