I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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