I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize