Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
