the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
