you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
