this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
