I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
