So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
