I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
