i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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