She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We are two peas in an std pod
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
