C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
