i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
