ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
