How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
