I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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