I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
