you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
