best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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