At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
