so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
