you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
